I was feeling completely overwhelmed this morning. The house didn't get as clean as I wanted last night, and it threw the whole day off. I was rushing to meet your demands for breakfast and drinks and everything else, trying to hurry you through so we could get Jenna to school on time, and taking care of my long to-do list.
I have tried so hard to keep it all together lately...to keep up on laundry and cleaning and cooking homemade meals every night. I have felt such a sense of pride in doing so. I love being a mom, and I know it's a lot of work. But one thing you probably won't realize until you are a parent with small children, is that all that work and all the to-do lists and things you will have to go through to hold life together are so much easier if you feel appreciated every now and then. And let's face it...that doesn't always happen.
So today, I found myself crying in the shower. Kicking myself for letting life get to me, and feeling overwhelmed and lonely...
But then Kaden, in the car on the way to take Jenna to school, out of the blue you said, "mom, I love you". And it was like those 4 words took away all the sadness and frustration of my morning...it made a difference to me. It really did.
And you know what? It also made me realize something else...that sometimes you guys may just need those moments of I love you...I appreciate you...not that I don't say those things. But that maybe you have times where you feel like I did...and you don't need things to be transformed somehow, you just need to know that you are loved and appreciated for you who are and what you do...
Thank you for this sweet lesson...and for loving me, despite my many flaws.
I am glad I am your mom.
Love,
me
