Today I found such joy in rereading the posts I have written in this journal. During quiet time I read through what I have written, tearing up during some, laughing during others...and remembering so vividly the times I had written about. It is amazing how after writing something down on paper it becomes engraved in your memory too. Even if you forget temporarily, somehow rereading those words beings it all back...
I think that is one thing I love most about this journal. It is allowing me to record the precious times I have so often let slip away only to blow away like a leaf in the wind. It is allowing me to go back through and SEE how many great times we had had together...how many moments of inspiration I have had...and what beautiful, wonderful kids you are.
I have realized lately, that there has been a change in me as well. I feel a little more patient (not perfect..not even close...but working on being better). I feel more empathy towards you...I feel more connected to you. I have heard more I love you's...I have been given more hugs...and I think I have done the same thing in return.
This has truly given me a change of heart.
I still have frustrating days. I still have a short temper sometimes. And I still have a lot of areas to work on. But in the past month and a half I have felt even a small portion of the great change I see is possible. And I am excited to see how much better we can become...together.
I love you. Thank you for loving me. It is truly the greatest gift one can be given...to be loved by a child.
Love, mom
